At the end of each summer, I always feel a little sad. Sad that another year has passed, and that my children are another year closer to leaving home. At the end of this summer, however, the joy eclipsed the sadness.
I have often been proud of my children. Usually these moments of pride are small and private. Sometimes the moments are a little bigger and more public. And rarely, the moments are monumental, and the pride and joy and love bubble out of me.
Last weekend was one of those rare times. James became a bar mitzvah, and the pride and joy overflowed. I know I’ve mentioned it here often this summer, but there are not that many milestones that I can share with dozens of people who are important to me. It is amazing to have all of those individuals in one room, as is knowing dozens more share our joy even in their absence.
I sat on the bimah in synagogue with my husband and my children, trying to remember to sit ladylike and quiet the nervous bounce of my foot against the chair. I watched both Gwen and James lead the congregation in prayer, and I was in awe of their poise and their mastery of the Hebrew language.
“Bar (or Bat) mitzvah” means “Son (or Daughter) of the Commandment,” and the ceremony marks the passage from childhood to adulthood within the Jewish community. It signifies one’s acceptance of and commitment to the laws and customs of the Jewish faith.
On Saturday, James read from the Torah for the first time. The Torah is the sacred parchment scroll containing the Five Books of Moses. For Christians, these are the first five books of the Old Testament. The Torah is written in Hebrew, with no vowels or punctuation.
Seven years of religious school, from September to May each year. Learning to read in another language, and learning dozens of prayers in that language. Weekly tutoring for six months, and daily practicing the entire summer. Writing a D’Var Torah, which is James’ interpretation of his Torah portion.
James spent hours and hours learning and practicing. And while I had to remind him to practice most nights, he did it with minimal complaint.
The result? A fluid reading of his Torah portion, and a thoughtful and well delivered D’Var Torah. An understanding of his new role in the Jewish community, and a commitment to being a role model for the younger students he will teach this fall.
As many families do, we threw a big party after the service. I struggled with this a bit, as I did when planning Gwen’s bat mitzvah. The party is NOT the bar mitzvah; it is a celebration of a life event, not the life event itself. I didn’t want the focus to be lost, but I wanted to celebrate.
How often are you able to have so many people you love in one room, laughing and eating and dancing?
So we laughed, and ate, and danced.
While James prepared for his bar mitzvah by studying, I prepared for his party by adding fun touches to his Baltimore Ravens theme. The projects kept me busy and made me feel a bit more in control of an event that really wasn’t in my control at all.
Place cards
Instead of a sign in book, guests signed a Ravens banner
Table numbers were jersey numbers of favorite players
Simple centerpieces – a tin pail, tissue paper, and balloons
There were the trademarks of a great party. Broken chairs, neck hula-hooping, ties removed, and heels tossed under the table. Hugs and smiles until the very end.
And the next morning, I posted on Facebook:
What a way to end the summer.
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post, which is a fabulous community led by Kristi and Stephanie, and co-hosted this week by Kerri.
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