When our oldest was in early elementary school, Matt and I began giving her an allowance equal to her grade level. Third grade, three dollars a week. We gave it when we remembered, which was about once a month, and Gwen never seemed to notice. We waffled back and forth for years, doling out money inconsistently with unclear guidelines as to what was expected.
In retrospect, I see that we arbitrarily started this allowance thing without thinking it through. Once we wised up, however, we found that there were three options:
1. No allowance.
2. An allowance based on the completion of chores.
3. An allowance not dependent on chores.
None of these options is inherently better than another, but one is bound to work best for your family. Here is the thought process for our brood:
1. No allowance. We certainly do not owe our children an allowance, but we decided against this option. Having an allowance enables our kids to have their own money that they can manage or mismanage, and this experience is important for future financial literacy.
2. An allowance based on the completion of chores. Our kids have responsibilities in the house, because they are part of our family. I do not get paid for doing laundry; they will not get paid for emptying the dishwasher. We felt that tying allowance to chores would result in chores being optional, and they are not. When I ask Gwen to strip and make her bed, she needs to strip and make her bed. Period. When I ask James to take out the trash, he has to do it. Period. There is no bargaining, and no withholding of allowance is necessary. The chores are done because Gwen and James are members of the household, and every member pitches in.
3. An allowance not dependent on chores. This is the option we chose. Each child gets a weekly allowance the equivalent to their grade in school, and they use that allowance as they see fit. Gwen decided to get an Ipsy box; the subscription is $10 a month. She uses her allowance. James wants to buy snacks at the pool; he uses his allowance. When they wander the aisles at Target and find something they simply must have, they buy it with their own money. If they save their allowance for awhile, they will ask me to deposit money they’ve saved into their bank account.
This system works for our family, but I was curious to know what other families do. I surveyed parents on my Facebook page, and the results from my minuscule sample of 18 moms were interesting. I gave them the three options above, as well as a “something else” selection.
Here is what I found:
1. A third of the moms surveyed do not give their kids (who range in age from 5 to 15) an allowance.
2. About 15% the moms surveyed give their kids allowance based on chore completion. One mom’s caveat, which I found brilliant, was that the kids earn $1 a day for doing the chores, but lose a $1 if they don’t.
3. A third of the moms surveyed give their kids an allowance that is not based on chores. As one mom said, responsibilities are implied. Another stated that doing chores is a part of their responsibility as a member of the family.
Being part of a family means helping out whenever needed.
4. 20% of the moms do something else. Typically this seemed to be paying on a by-the-chore basis, although some chores such as keeping rooms clean were expected and not paid for. One creative mom puts marbles in a jar for different jobs done, although not every chore earns a marble. A full jar equals money or a special outing or treat.
Clearly my sample of parents is not a large enough or random enough one to draw any scientific conclusions, but this is clearly not a research article. I did find it interesting that the allowance based on chore completion group was the smallest; I had assumed that most parents give allowance based on chores.
Regardless of how families handle the allowance issue, it seems like the consensus is that children are expected to do things around the house simply because they are a part of the family. Whether it’s a preschooler picking up his toys, a third grader taking out the trash, or a teenager doing her own laundry, kids who do for themselves will be thanking their parents when they live on their own.
If you have children, do you give them an allowance? If you do, is it dependent on chore completion?
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